Top Ten Forum Debate Rules for Conservatives

This list is dedicated to Ann Coulter, author of “How to Talk To A Liberal (If You Must)”. Having read the book, I thought it best to refine the somewhat verbose text down to a simple and understandable list of the top ten rules to follow to be as effective as possible.

1. All bad things that happen to a republican Presidents are the fault of the last Democratic President. Example: 9/11 is Clinton’s fault, not Bush’s, Bush’s first recession is Clinton’s fault, Bush’s second recession, the Great Recession is really Barney Frank’s fault (it’s okay to substitute a member of the house or senate if you can’t pin it on the previous Democratic President, as long as you pin it on the Democrats).

2. All good things that happen to a Republican President is to the credit of that President. Example: Housing prices going up under the Bush administration.

3. All bad things that happen to a Democrat President are, of course, their own fault. Example: Housing prices going down is Obama’s fault.

4. Anything good that happens to a Democratic President while in office is to the credit of the preceding Republican President.    Example: Clinton was able to balance the budget, lower the debt and show a surplus because of Ronald Reagan’s trickle down   economics.

5. If a Democratic President does it, we should impeach him. Example: Bill Clinton engaging in oral sex with an intern and Obama trying to pass health care reform: both are examples of “high crimes and misdemeanors” and therefore, are impeachable offenses.

6. If a Republican President does it, it is for “National Security”. Example: torture, secret prisons, warrantless wire tapping of American citizens were “necessary” and are not “high crimes and misdemeanors” and therefore, not subject to impeachment.

7. If a Republican President attempts to "protect us" and takes away rights, it’s for our own good and therefore, not fascist. Example: rendition and warrantless wiretaps.

8. If a Democratic President attempts to “protect us”, we’re actually loosing freedoms and therefore, they are fascist. Example: health care reform.

9. If Rush, Beck, O’Reilly, Coulter, Buchanan, Gingrich or Palin say it, they know what the real deal is and quoting them or paraphrasing them is acceptable and doesn’t need to be “proven”. Exercise your free speech. Example: death panels, socialist plots, and questionable birth certificates, what constitutes “high crimes and misdemeanors”.

10. History is irrelevant. It can be re-written. For “official” historical information, please read books by Rush, Beck, O’Reilly, Coulter, Buchanan, Gingrich or Palin.

Additionally, never yield your ground. Never admit that a liberal has made a valid point or has anything of value to say. Simple discount them as being less than a “True American”. Always remember that the conservative, the republican and the tea-bagger have a monopoly on the truth. If you do your own research, be sure to use web sites provided as a public service by Rush, Beck, O’Reilly, Coulter, Buchanan, Gingrich or Palin. Avoid all use of “Google Scholar” and all work submitted by the socialist professors at our universities. Avoid all government websites for statistical information as they are controlled by Obama. Only cite think tanks that are funded by and work for conservatives, the republicans and the tea-baggers.

And remember, winning is always more important than the truth.